Parents and Teens: Please Read This Urgent Warning About Teen Dating Violence
Teen dating violence is a serious and often overlooked problem. Just last week, at the First Friday opening at Cobalt Gallery, the place was packed with teens — a reminder of how present and vulnerable this age group is. Yesterday we celebrated their creativity; today we have to face a somber and equally important reality in teen life.
At the First Friday event we covered on Thursday, Mendocino Coast Clinics hosted an excellent booth run by two warm, engaging staff members. They drew teens in with art and games while staying focused on the seriousness of the issue.
At the Fort Bragg City Council meeting, the council issued a proclamation on teen dating violence, and Councilmember Tess Albin‑Smith read it aloud, bringing the issue squarely into public view. Following the proclamation, Project Sanctuary delivered a presentation. Tess’s reading was unexpectedly stark — and frankly, shocking.
“Whereas teen dating violence, now also known as dating abuse, is a serious and growing problem throughout California, and each year, an estimated one in 12 high school students is physically hurt by a dating partner.
And whereas, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention …65% adolescents report verbal, emotional, physical or sexualdating abuse each year.
And whereas, according to the American Psychological Association, one in three teens have experienced dating abuse, and about the same number say they have committed dating abuse themselves. And whereas, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 20% of female teens and 13% male teens reported experiencing adolescent dating violence in the last year.
And whereas 43% of LGBTQ plus identifying teens reported experiencing physical dating violence, compared to 29% of heterosexual youth and 50% of transgender youth reported experiencing sexual violence at some point in their lives, and whereas teenage dating violence has been linked to other forms of violence and aggression against the peers, including bullying, sexual harassment, sexual violence and physical violence.
And whereas survivors of teen dating violence have increased risk for truancy, drop out and teen pregnancy, suicide, having eating disorders and engaging in other harmful behaviors, such as use of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs,
and whereas teen dating violence intervention and prevention programs can help and ensure a positive school, climate and safe learning environment for all ages of youth, 12 to 24 and whereas project sanctuaries prevention programs work to address warning signs of teen dating violence among youth before behaviors escalate and protect the safety of targeted youth
Now therefore I Tess Albin Smith on behalf of the entire city council, join project sanctuary in the belief that all community members must be part of the solution to prevent adolescent violence by empowering youth to develop healthy and violence free relationships throughout their lives, and I do hereby proclaim February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.
Then the spokesperson for Project Sanctuary spoke:
I’m Chelsea, and on behalf of Project Sanctuary, thank you to the Fort Bragg City Council for recognizing February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Your support helps shine a light on an issue that deeply impacts our youth and reinforces the importance of education, prevention and healthy relationships, we are truly grateful for your commitment to protecting and uplifting young people in our community. Thank you all thanks for joining us this evening.”
The proclamation and Project Sanctuary’s remarks landed heavily in the room — and they should. These aren’t abstract statistics or distant problems. They describe the lived reality of teens right here on the Mendocino Coast, the same kids we saw crowding into Cobalt Gallery on First Friday, laughing with friends, making art, trying on adulthood one small step at a time.
It’s easy to imagine teen dating violence as something that happens “somewhere else,” to “other kids.” But the numbers Tess Albin‑Smith read aloud make that illusion impossible. One in twelve. One in three. Half of transgender youth. Nearly two‑thirds of adolescents reporting some form of abuse. These are not fringe cases — they are the landscape our young people are navigating.
And yet, the night wasn’t without hope. Project Sanctuary’s presence — both at First Friday and at the council meeting — is a reminder that prevention is not only possible, it’s already happening. Their staff meet teens where they are, with art, conversation, and trust. They teach what healthy relationships look like before the patterns of harm take root. They give young people language, tools, and a sense of safety many have never been offered.
The proclamation matters. The programs matter. But what matters most is what we, as a community, choose to do with this knowledge. Teen dating violence is preventable — but only if adults are willing to talk about it, listen without judgment, and stand with the organizations doing the work every day.
Our teens deserve relationships that are free of fear. They deserve to grow up in a community that sees them, protects them, and believes them. February may be Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, but the responsibility — and the possibility for change — belongs to all of us, all year long.
